I'm Attracted to my Aunt

Written by Lucia on .

aunt
Hi Lucia,
 
I am 24 years old and I am in love with a woman who is 42. The thing is, she's my aunt. We have a very close friendship and I have fallen in love with her. I don't think she knows that. I am afraid to tell her how I feel. I can be myself when I am with her and she is so grown up.
 
I see her every weekend. I make her a special dinner and we watch a movie. She phones me sometimes during the week and says things like, "I can't wait for this weekend." or "Are you coming this weekend? I miss you."
 
I really want to take this relationship further. I have my own place but I can just as well move in with her. Must I stop seeing her? Is this all wrong because she's my aunt? J.
 
Dear J,
 
The allure of a beautiful, older woman, especially one you can be yourself with can be strong. However, you know this is totally wrong, or you wouldn't have written to me.
 
You may think you're in love with her, but it's infatuation. I can understand you becoming infatuated with her, but she should know better. Of course she knows you're interested! I'm sure she finds it flattering to have a young man so taken with her, but you are both using bad judgment.
 
Do not move forward with this situation. You cannot move in with her and you cannot have sex with her. I know it's going to be difficult, but nothing good can come of this situation. If the family found out, at the very least, they would be very disappointed and upset.
 
If you prefer older women, then please find another one. This one is off limits!
 
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I'm Hiding My Cougar From My Parents

Written by Lucia on .

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Hi Lucia,
 
I'm 24 and I've been dating a woman who is twice my age for about twelve months. Thus far, my parents don't know about her though they are aware I am seeing someone. They have continued to ask if they could at least see a picture of her but I have always refused.
 
Recently, my parents have become more adamant to see who I'm dating and it's been evolving into a more contentious issue. Would you recommend me showing my parents a photo which could possibly alter our close relationship, or should I continue to be vague and secretive. Mike
 
Hi Mike,
 
I have to laugh at the last sentence in your email. You say you have a close relationship and yet you are being vague and secretive. Isn't that a contradiction?
 
I would suggest you speak to your father first - they are generally more accepting of Cougar relationships than mothers. Do not begin by saying you're dating a woman twice you age, as you did in your email. Tell him the truth: that you were afraid to reveal who you were dating because you thought it would alter your relationship and you didn't want that to happen.
 
At this point he may start to think you're gay, so tell him it's a woman who is quite a few years older. If he asks how many, say it's not polite to reveal a woman's age, but you'd be happy to show him a photo.
 
Afterwards, you can both decide how to "break it" to your mother, who may or may not be thrilled to hear that her son is dating a woman twice his age.
 
At the end of the day, no matter what their reaction, the important thing is that this is your life and you're free to date who you choose. If they are not totally accepting at first, they may eventually warm up to the idea once they meet her and see how happy you are.
 
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